


but if you lie to me .

by Mikewaters



Category: My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:35:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikewaters/pseuds/Mikewaters
Summary: Mike and Scott just wanna find their way home to each other
Relationships: Scott Favor/Mike Waters
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	1. To be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Quarantine has made me so creative.

Mike   
Its late now. I've been tossing and turning for hours and everything is too much, the silence, the sound its all to much. My brain is working overtime and i cant keep up. Old memories, some good most bad. I feel sick . I curl my knees to my chest and try to find comfort with myself .Its useless.   
My hands are shaking as i try to sit up in bed, alone in the dark. In the silence. Time moves slowly . It almost stops completely only for the faint hum of cars passing up and down the highway. I wanna be somewhere else ,anywhere . The uneasiness is overwhelming,all consuming as it takes over my thoughts completely and worry overrides everything.  
I miss him.  
If i close my eyes and push my body up to the cool wall, its as if he's here,he's gone to get something and i'm making room for when he returns .He doesn't return. He never does. The glow of the streetlights slips in through the curtain and i can catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror opposite the bed. I've been crying . I didn't realise, i never do anymore. My eyes sting and threaten to close, but i cant let them. If they close he'll come back. I'm already hurting too much right now. So i keep them open. 

Its been five minutes now ,though it feels like its been hours. Ironic really that all day i struggle to stay awake and at night i can't sleep. It wasn't always like that though. When Scott was around i'd always sleep through the night while he held me to his chest and stroked my hair on the concrete footpaths of Portland. Scott. Now i could feel myself crying. I tried to take a breath but it was ragged and choked. If i could just see him again, smell him, touch him....kiss him. Maybe then he'd stay,maybe then he'd want me too.  
Ha,fat chance. I bet Scott's living it up right now, blowing all his cash now his dads croaked it. Or maybe h- *yawn* Maybe he, he .   
Maybe hes thinking of me *sleep*


	2. A mans body at auction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott  
> Title from  
> "I sing the body electric"  
> by Walt Whitman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short  
> like, REALLY short.

Scott  
Its early morning, maybe seven or eight, i can hear the birds singing to one another outside. A soft powdery snow has settled upon the city overnight, It glitters in the early morning sun and makes my eyes wet with tears,I'm reminded of mike. Mike loved snow, he was like a child, a small boy, so innocent. But that in itself was a lie. Mike sold himself to make a buck for christs sake.  
i didn't blame him ,only pitied him. I can't understand why mike lead the life he did, what god was cruel enough to give one human so much renewable hope and continuously try to wear it thin, strip it of that hope, leave it with nothing. I worried for him constantly, mike would never survive too long on his own, that much i knew. I just hope i find him before the little luck he has runs out. I don't wanna hurt him anymore


	3. our mother the mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dont even know

Mike  
At night when im laying awake unable to sleep i can see him. I remember how the moon would paint his black hair purple, and how his smell would hit my nose when the wind would blow. Sometimes i can hear him calling out to me, maybe he really is. I talk back, even though i know in the depths of my mind that im just speaking to the void. Sometimes it felt like we were in a boxing ring, both of us too scared to make the first move, say the first word. Both of us swinging left and right but neither landing any punches. Other nights i feel like we arent even sleeping under the same moon. Maybe in some parallel universe, stretching out towards infinity we are together. Happy. Or maybe we werent made to be with each other , maybe we just have to accept how things are now and comply with the ways of this universe.  
I thought i saw him today, Scott. Running up and down the aisles of linoleum flooring in the supermarket , calling out after him. Waking up surrounded by store assisstants, face pressed against the sticky lino floor. I can hear him whispering now , asking me where i am , am i alive.I stay tight-lipped.  
On the rare nights on which i do sleep hes there, in my dreams. But hes a different scott in my dreams, hes quiet , he doesnt say a word. I can see an image of him in the desert,standing on the horizon,hes dressed in faded blue jeans and flannel, but the thing that sticks in my mind the most is the red cap he wears low on his brow.Thats how i see scott now

In my dreams


End file.
